The Midway

Enough about ME

2011-07-22T10:58:00.000-07:00

So I've realized that all my posts are about me and what's inside my head.
Whining.
Worrying.
Rambling on and on.
Pau. Basta! Enough!
I won't post again until I have something other than me, Me, ME to talk about.
For instance, when I can write up something interesting about our trip to India and post some pics, I'll be back.
'Til then I'm gonna keep the ME b.s. to my personal journal.

What's new is old again.

2011-07-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

(This is a continuation of me whining about my lousy job (read earlier post: TOXIC WORKPLACE / TOXIC BOSSES):

Eventually, the Associate VP resigned and SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED. No goodbye party, nothing! We weren’t even told he had resigned until a month after he had gone. I guess the administration had agreed to give him a “head-start.”

The search to replace this guy failed – they could not find anyone to take his job. I suspect they were offering some insulting compensation package. It was finally decided that the existing Director of Plan Ops. (trades shops – plumbers, carpenters, painters, etc.) would take over the former Associate VP’s job and become the newly created Senior Director of Facilities. Notice how the job surged up into the executive stratosphere and now has plummeted back down to a more middle-management sort of position? Interesting, is it not?

My director supervisor, the Director of Grounds, Fleet, and Integrated Waste Management is moving to a new position in Capital Planning in which he will no longer supervise anyone. I guess HR and the Senior Associate VP got tired of all the union grievances and other complaints against this guy. His "sub-title" as the mandated and duly designated Motor Vehicle Inspector – which I tried to get in order to FINALLY get paid (some more) for the job I do – will go to the new Senior Director. So the tradition of giving a manager the title and me all the work continues.

That’s the picture – I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actively and diligently looking for a new job, it's just a matter of time.
It's all gonna be ok, right? RIGHT!

Graduated

2010-12-09T10:16:00.000-08:00

Done with school -
I mean DONE with school.
I ain't goin' BACK!
Don't get me wrong, I love learning and I'm sure I'll take the odd class here and there; I am even more certain that I will audit a few sessions in the GreenMBA at Dominican University (which I just COMPLETED). But, I doubt that I will do anything more serious than post-grad certification-type classes in future.
For me, completing grad school last week was more than just the 2 1/2 years I spent getting my MBA in Sustainable Enterprises. Since I did my undergrad work as an older adult, this past week has been the culmination of 15 years of working full time and going to school at least half-time.
My GOD, that's longer than doing K through 12 as a kid - and I spent half a lifetime recovering from THAT!!
So, what's next (probably NOT a PhD.)?
To start with, my wife and I are off to India for a couple of months. So this will probably turn into a travel-blog, at least for the time being.
India . . . hhhmmm . . . while traveling all over much of the world during the last 30 years, Ricky and I have always figured that we'd just-as-soon skip going to India - too crowded, too crazy, too much poverty, hunger, and disease - in short: too many people working-out their personal and collective KARMA right out in public. But now, after having observed a lot of "third-world" (I HATE that term) reality over the years, I think we will handle India better than we would have as twenty-somethings. This attitude is bearing in mind that all the "Old India-Hands we've met latlely tell us, "You ain't seen nothin' yet."
Well, maybe . . . but I don't think any of them had seen Saigon, Managua, or Lima, Peru during a political riot. Nevertheless, we do feel a little trepidation; despite the fact that despite their warnings, all our "fellow-travellers" tell us that India is INCREDIBLE, BEAUTIFUL, LIFE-CHANGING.
LIFE-CHANGING? . . . hhhmmm . . . now that's sayin' something.
I've had my life changed before, so if you're saying that a place (or a person, or a thing) is "life-changing," well, you better know what you're talkin' about.
In any case, I'm glad I've got this journey coming up (BTW - we leave TOMORROW), otherwise the aftermath of FINISHING SCHOOL would have had me crawling the walls of my office. As it is, I cannot stay in my chair working for more than 15 or 20 minutes without having to go out and find someone or something to distract me from the inside of my head.
I mean, I BE TRIPPIN'!
I promise to tone-down the bold-font, the italics and the ALL-CAPS in my future posts. But for now I'm kinda over-amped by the shear reality of my situation.
I am finished with school, not just for the semester, but FINISHED.
We are going to INDIA f'chrissakes!!!
Not Mexico, or Bolivia, or even, Thailand, Cambodia, or Laos . . .
. . . but, INDIA.
The fine-weave sheet between waking-life and dream-life is gettin' sari-silk thin.
MORE LATER . . .

2010-11-30T14:27:00.000-08:00

Recently, one of my professors asked me how I felt, now that I was "rolling into the finish line" on this whole grad school deal - I give my final Capstone Presentation in just a few daze. I really had to stop and think. This particular teacher is someone I truly admire and respect, Thea Bellos - a great woman, from whom I've learned a thing or two! Once, after I had thanked her for all the support she had given me (including my impression that she is one of a few who "get" me), she replied, "I try to see everyone in their own specialness...you wanted to be seen and that's the first step." That was the first time I ever got positive recognition for wanting attention. So, I didn't want to just be clever. Since she was kind enough to ask, I wanted to give her an honest assessment of my emotional state. Which meant I had to give myself a chance to stop thinking about it for a minute and try to feel how I felt.

Anyway, below are some reflections on "graduating" from grad school.

. . .hhhmmm, how do I feel?
Well, a little numb, a little overwhelmed, anxious, tired, proud, frightened, confident, and somewhat disconnected.
I am quite sure that the GreenMBA (at Dominican University - the only "real" / trademarked "GreenMBA") was the best choice for me as far as grad school goes. Nevertheless, I am still not really sure what that actually means.
I still need to figure out where I fit in and which way to herd this pony.
Since I am not an entrepreneur type, nor am I Super-Greenie on a particular mission, I feel slightly set adrift, but kinda in a good way.
At least I'm now educated, experienced, and relatively healthy (if not yet wealthy and wise) - at least I have aspirations now, instead of mere pretensions and affectations.
Yes, indeed, I wanted to be SEEN. In fact I can't imagine NOT wanting to be seen. That is to say, I can definitely relate to wanting to "hide-out" sometimes; but that's not quite the same as "not wanting to be seen," is it?

Incarnation Encounters

2010-11-18T20:43:00.000-08:00

School's almost out!

Going to India.

Holy Cow!

More later!!!

WTF

2009-10-27T11:45:00.000-07:00

During the Spring '09 semester I had a mini-melt-down when one of our instructors gave us the mid-term evaluation to complete. Not only did the instructor not leave the room, but, throughout the time that we were completing the evaluation the instructor addressed the class about being sure that our comments were appropriate, mature, unbiased, etc. During the next class session she called for a discussion about the evaluations, during which I gave a very emotionally charged criticism of how the instructor had violated our confidentiality, etc. (actually I totally BLEW UP!). Part of the instructors response to me was that these mid-term evaluations were not subject to the same policies of confidentiality as the course evaluations given at the end of the term and so my criticism was not only inappropriate because of it's emtional nature, but also because I was mistaken to think that the instructor was required to give us privacy in this matter. Later that day, I apologized to her and the entire class for my outburst, but the experienced stayed with all of us.
So now, it's very confusing to me to have all the faculty be so careful about honoring our privacy during the mid-term evaluations.
After all of this had happened last spring, I was left with the message that, I had been mistaken in thinking that the mid-term course evaluations were confidential and so my outburst was doubly inappropriate.
So, that's the problem that I had with the evaluations. I'm still very upset that:
1. I got so worked up and blew up the way I did last spring
2. the instructor may have mis-represented the nature of the mid-term course evaluations in an attempt to manipulate the students' responses in the first place and then, later, as a defense when I objected to the way the evaluation was administered in that class.

Finally, I am still confused. Are the mid-term evaluations supposed to be confidential? Is the instructor supposed to leave the room while the students complete them? Was I correct in thinking that this instructor had violated our right to confidentiality last spring (my inappropriate outburst notwithstanding)?
It was an unfortunate event that made an otherwise difficult class experience just that much more difficult for me.
But hey, I'm a big boy. I'm gettin' OVER IT!
Thanks for listening.

Keepin' it up.

2009-08-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm gonna try to keep this thing going. Maybe I'll even tell someone about it so I can maybe get someone else to read some of this stuff.

I'm a year into my grad program and diggin' it!

Lots of work, some mild frustration here and there, but the people I'm studying with make it worthwhile.

I'm in GreenMBA at Dominican University. A masters in business administration for sustainable enterprises. The tagline of GreenMBA is "Transform yourself, transform business, transform the world." A little grandiose maybe, but it fits. Most of the faculty seem genuinely committed to regenerating business education through teaching principles and ways of implementing environmental, social, and economic sustainability

jmdl

2008-10-03T12:42:00.000-07:00

I found this thing called the Joni Mitchell Discussion List - www.jmdl.com
Since I've been Joni's biggest fan for over 40 years, I joined the list and have had some interesting conversations. It's really a DIY kinda deal and very cool.
It has also proven to be a huge distraction from my job and my grad school responsibilities.
And how I love distractions.

Later

Green Wash: "Sustaining" the Status Quo

2008-06-30T12:46:00.000-07:00

In the Year of Our Earth, the Common Era, 2008.
Summertime, San Francisco.
Another cold summer day in The City.
The "green washing" of my workplace is ON!
Several of us have been assigned to a new "task force" to come up with ways to comply with mandates from our "Central Office" for greening our campus (I am going to be using euphemisms to refer to various university entities in order to keep my ass outta trouble).
Although environmental sustainability has been a hot-button topic for several years, the organization I work for is just now beginning to take steps to implement operations practices that will reduce its carbon footprint and make other gestures towards sustainability.
Up until now, we have been just talking about sustainability, very little has actually been done to change our facilities operations. A WHOLE LOT of talk has taken the place of action for years around here. Some people have even been able to start whole new carriers based on all this talk. In fact, as soon as the student association had succeeded in creating and operating a viable recycling center, the Administration decided that students could not be trusted with such a weighty responsibility and its operation was handed over to the Plant Operations Department. A couple of years later the Plant Operations Manager became the Associate Vice President of Facilities Services Enterprises. Cool new title, cool new department, cool new salary.
I, myself was even an early recruit. Told this was the oportunity of a lifetime, I was taken out of the motor pool and made project coordinator for a couple of sustainable building projects involving the U.S. Green Building Council's LEED for Existing Buildings Rating System.
After nearly a year of solo info gathering and sporadic "support" from my manager - "What can we show them RIGHT NOW to get us certified as a "green" facility?" - it became clear to me that becoming LEED certified was going to take a concerted effort, involving a wide range of people from almost every department in the university. As soon as I began communicating this reality to management, their interest began to waver. Shortly thereafter, I was taken off of the project. My role was handed over to our Associate V.P.'s personal assistant (she resigned 3 months later) and all other aspects of our sustainability efforts were assigned to student assistant staff.
So much for the "opportunity of a lifetime." The "green washing" had begun.
However, I realized that there was, nonetheless, potential for personal growth in the area of sustainability. I applied to and was accepted into a graduate program to earn an MBA in Sustainable Enterprises.
There are two such programs offered in the SF Bay Area. One is self-admitted as having an emphasis on "BUSINESS." This first school decided I was not " a good fit" for their program - "People 'your age' are usually already in upper-level management by the time they come to OUR program." Oh well, another clique this late-bloomer flunks out of! Obviously, my face, my stats, my "former business experience" would not enhance the appearance of their web-page.
The second school is decribed by the first as being more geared towards producing sustainability "activists" - pronounced with a just the hint of an amused, distainful sneer. These guys had no problem with my age, present employment situation, or my 3.8 GPA during my undergrad years - earned, BTW, while I was working full-time, raising a child and supporting and caring for a disabled spouse. O.K., I guess I'll risk being labelled an "activist." I will start this program in the fall of 2008. Wish me luck. My wife is back on her feet, my son is grown, I still work full-time ... but hey, this'll be a breeze, right? Right?
Meantime, I am back working in the Motor Pool and coordinating "the greening of the campus Fleet" - pricing recapped tires and test-driving a stream of snakeoil mercants' electric minivans (some of 'em still have the clutch pedal installed from their "re-engineering" as "green-mobiles").

TOXIC WORKPLACE / TOXIC BOSSES

2008-06-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

I work at a large university in California as a facilities administrator and the Director and Associate Vice President of our department are two greedy, abusive, control addicted, sociopaths. I am ALWAYS looking for a way out of here, BUT, I have a disabled wife and a son in college. It is not easy give up a position I have had for 11 years at a university I at which I have worked for over 20 years.
It might seem odd to hear that two greedy, financially ambitious men work for a non-profit agency like a public university - it sure seems odd to me. I would think that private industry would be more suitable to their personalities and their agendas. But these two guys have worked together to create a joint fiefdom over the last 15 years.
The current Associate VP started out as the Manager of Plant Operations 17 years ago. Via a process of departmental "reorganization” he steadily CREATED a series of ever higher paying positions over the years: "Associate Director of Plant Operations,” "Facilities Director," and finally, "Associate Vice President of Facilities & Service Enterprises." All the while his duties and responsibilities remained EXACTLY the SAME. In fact the number of staff for whom he was responsible was reduced by his practice of frequently NOT refilling positions when folks retired. He went from $65K per year to $130k + per year.
He was aided in his "climb" to the top of this imaginary administrative ladder, by another individual who started out as the Grounds Superintentent 15 years ago.This guy’s job title has also changed: “Grounds Manager,” “Associate Director of Grounds,” finally, “Director of Landscape & Grounds.” Again, his job has not changed one whit over the years, just the title and the pay - from $43k to $98k per year. In those years the grounds staff has shrunk by 60%; and has gone from including two heavy equipment operators, an Irrigation Specialist, a Integrated Pest Management Specialist, Grounds Workers, Gardeners and Lead Grounds workers, to consist now of simply of 5 Lead Grounds Workers and various student assistants.
So, why am I whining about these guys who have just taken advantage of the American Dream of finding a government niche to use and abuse. Because they have done it on my back and the backs of my co-workers. And oh yeah the success of their ambition has been at the expence of the California taxpayers.
Finally, these two guys are notorious for having lied to, mislead and manipulated everyone around them, all under the protection of the university president because they keep facilities' maintenance cost down. As a result, the building's are falling apart and over the last 4 - 5 years longtime staff have been DYING as a result of a high rate of cancer (including Asbestiosis) and heart disease. It's criminal. Literally.
This is a public university we 're talkin' about here. Lots of regulatory oversite in place. Including CAL-OSHA, the EPA, three different unions and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
It has done NO GOOD. These guys are protected by a university president and system chancellor who approve of their actions, and let them get away with MURDER as long as they continue to save the university MONEY.There have been numerous union grievances, lawsuits and even charges of extortion filed that have gone NOWHERE.
Most recently the Associate VP's wife divorced him (very noisily) because of a longtime affair he had been carrying on with one of the women on his office staff - an elicit affair with his direct subordinate that EVERYBODY in our department had suspected for over 10 years!
When it all came out, he was asked by his boss (the unit Vice President) if there were anything to the rumors. The Associate VP simply denied it and that was IT. NO MORE QUESTIONS ASKED! Within 6 weeks of that conversation the woman with whom the Associate VP had been having the affair received a BIG (well over 20%) raise and was "reorganized" into a very cushy job for which she is completely unqualified.
All this is to say that these guys are protected. As long as the university president has their back, they will continue to use and abuse their staff to further their own personal professional agendas. My only hope is to keep trying to find new job and hope things are better someplace else.

Opening Day

2008-06-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

I've decided to start putting it all out there for the world to see.
I might be the only one listening, so I feel free to speak my mind.
That might be naive, but to think anything else - that random strangers would care about "my stuff" - just seems self-inflated and ridiculous.

I'm doing this to give myself someplace to write. I think of this blog as sort of a "virtual office" where I can come and work. I am hoping that having this structure will get me to think more objectively about the stuff that happens in my life and allow me to sort it out in my daily? weekly? monthly? journal here.

I hope to have some fun with this. Try out different writing styles and take on various "voices."
If you find this space and have some feedback of any sort, please give it. I'll read EVERYTHING.
So, "Random Stranger" thanks for listening so far. I hope to hear from "you."