WTF

During the Spring '09 semester I had a mini-melt-down when one of our instructors gave us the mid-term evaluation to complete. Not only did the instructor not leave the room, but, throughout the time that we were completing the evaluation the instructor addressed the class about being sure that our comments were appropriate, mature, unbiased, etc. During the next class session she called for a discussion about the evaluations, during which I gave a very emotionally charged criticism of how the instructor had violated our confidentiality, etc. (actually I totally BLEW UP!). Part of the instructors response to me was that these mid-term evaluations were not subject to the same policies of confidentiality as the course evaluations given at the end of the term and so my criticism was not only inappropriate because of it's emtional nature, but also because I was mistaken to think that the instructor was required to give us privacy in this matter. Later that day, I apologized to her and the entire class for my outburst, but the experienced stayed with all of us.
So now, it's very confusing to me to have you (and other instructors) be so careful about honoring our privacy during the mid-term evaluations.
After all of this had happened last spring, I was left with the message that, I had been mistaken in thinking that the mid-term course evaluations were confidential and so my outburst was doubly inappropriate.
So, that's the problem that I had with the evaluations. I'm still very upset that:
1. I got so worked up and blew up the way I did last spring
2. the instructor may have mis-represented the nature of the mid-term course evaluations in an attempt to manipulate the students' responses in the first place and then, later, as a defense when I objected to the way the evaluation was administered in that class.

Finally, I am still confused. Are the mid-term evaluations supposed to be confidential? Is the instructor supposed to leave the room while the students complete them? Was I correct in thinking that this instructor had violated our right to confidentiality last spring (my inappropriate outburst notwithstanding)?
It was an unfortunate event that made an otherwise difficult class experience just that much more difficult for me.
But hey, I'm a big boy. I'm gettin' OVER IT!
Thanks for listening.

jmdl

I found this thing called the Joni Mitchell Discussion List - www.jmdl.com
Since I've been Joni's biggest fan for over 40 years, I joined the list and have had some interesting conversations. It's really a DIY kinda deal and very cool.
It has also proven to be a huge distraction from my job and my grad school responsibilities.
And how I love distractions.

Later

Green Wash: "Sustaining" the Status Quo

In the Year of Our Earth, the Common Era, 2008.
Summertime, San Francisco.
Another cold summer day in The City.
The "green washing" of my workplace is ON!
Several of us have been assigned to a new "task force" to come up with ways to comply with mandates from our "Central Office" for greening our campus (I am going to be using euphemisms to refer to various university entities in order to keep my ass outta trouble).
Although environmental sustainability has been a hot-button topic for several years, the organization I work for is just now beginning to take steps to implement operations practices that will reduce its carbon footprint and make other gestures towards sustainability.
Up until now, we have been just talking about sustainability, very little has actually been done to change our facilities operations. A WHOLE LOT of talk has taken the place of action for years around here. Some people have even been able to start whole new carriers based on all this talk. In fact, as soon as the student association had succeeded in creating and operating a viable recycling center, the Administration decided that students could not be trusted with such a weighty responsibility and its operation was handed over to the Plant Operations Department. A couple of years later the Plant Operations Manager became the Associate Vice President of Facilities Services Enterprises. Cool new title, cool new department, cool new salary.
I, myself was even an early recruit. Told this was the oportunity of a lifetime, I was taken out of the motor pool and made project coordinator for a couple of sustainable building projects involving the U.S. Green Building Council's LEED for Existing Buildings Rating System.
After nearly a year of solo info gathering and sporadic "support" from my manager - "What can we show them RIGHT NOW to get us certified as a "green" facility?" - it became clear to me that becoming LEED certified was going to take a concerted effort, involving a wide range of people from almost every department in the university. As soon as I began communicating this reality to management, their interest began to waver. Shortly thereafter, I was taken off of the project. My role was handed over to our Associate V.P.'s personal assistant (she resigned 3 months later) and all other aspects of our sustainability efforts were assigned to student assistant staff.
So much for the "opportunity of a lifetime." The "green washing" had begun.
However, I realized that there was, nonetheless, potential for personal growth in the area of sustainability. I applied to and was accepted into a graduate program to earn an MBA in Sustainable Enterprises.
There are two such programs offered in the SF Bay Area. One is self-admitted as having an emphasis on "BUSINESS." This first school decided I was not " a good fit" for their program - "People 'your age' are usually already in upper-level management by the time they come to OUR program." Oh well, another clique this late-bloomer flunks out of! Obviously, my face, my stats, my "former business experience" would not enhance the appearance of their web-page.
The second school is decribed by the first as being more geared towards producing sustainability "activists" - pronounced with a just the hint of an amused, distainful sneer. These guys had no problem with my age, present employment situation, or my 3.8 GPA during my undergrad years - earned, BTW, while I was working full-time, raising a child and supporting and caring for a disabled spouse. O.K., I guess I'll risk being labelled an "activist." I will start this program in the fall of 2008. Wish me luck. My wife is back on her feet, my son is grown, I still work full-time ... but hey, this'll be a breeze, right? Right?
Meantime, I am back working in the Motor Pool and coordinating "the greening of the campus Fleet" - pricing recapped tires and test-driving a stream of snakeoil mercants' electric minivans (some of 'em still have the clutch pedal installed from their "re-engineering" as "green-mobiles").

Opening Day

I've decided to start putting it all out there for the world to see.
I might be the only one listening, so I feel free to speak my mind.
That might be naive, but to think anything else - that random strangers would care about "my stuff" - just seems self-inflated and ridiculous.

I'm doing this to give myself someplace to write. I think of this blog as sort of a "virtual office" where I can come and work. I am hoping that having this structure will get me to think more objectively about the stuff that happens in my life and allow me to sort it out in my daily? weekly? monthly? journal here.

I hope to have some fun with this. Try out different writing styles and take on various "voices."
If you find this space and have some feedback of any sort, please give it. I'll read EVERYTHING.
So, "Random Stranger" thanks for listening so far. I hope to hear from "you."